She called again last night. She told me it was over. She told me she just couldn’t go on like this. Or at least, that’s what I assume she said. I don’t really listen any more. It’s been almost a year now since it ended. And every month, regular as clockwork, she calls me up and ends it all over again. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s a compulsion or some sick obsession she has with twisting the knife. She always says the same words. I always say so little it doesn’t matter. I often let my mind wander while she speaks. I wonder exactly what she’s doing as she speaks. I wonder how she prepares. Does she make a cup of tea and then sits comfortably and breaks my heart while it cools? I wonder if she’s ever called while I’ve been out and been disappointed. I still answer the phone every time. It’s always the same day so I always know it’s her. I just can’t bring myself to not answer. Maybe I’m punishing myself. Or maybe I can’t let go of this one last connection we have. Maybe it makes the break-up somehow less painful. I dread the day she stops calling.

-Alice