There was a number of things I needed to tell her. As she talked, I sat there wondering how to say them. Wondering if she already knew. Wondering if any of them would make a difference. I tried to maintain eye-contact, but it felt uncomfortable. My eyes began to wander and I watched her lips as she spoke. I wondered if a simple kiss would make any of it better. It seemed unlikely. It seemed likely that she’d merely reject any attempt at a kiss. I wasn’t really sure what effect her words should be having on me. I knew how I felt, but I wasn’t sure if that were right. I wasn’t sure if I was acting in the right manner. Whether I should be coming across as reacting differently to what she was saying. The things I’d planned to say were beginning to slip out of my head. I tried to grasp at them but it was ineffectual and seemed rather pointless in the face of her extended monologues. I struggled to decide whether should actually say anything. Whether my input was required and whether it would really make a difference.  I ended up simply nodding as she carried on. I don’t think I cam off well.