NaNoWriMo 2010 – Day 17

Sophie sat in her room, unsure of what to do. She thought about calling James, but had no idea what to say. Would he understand? Could anyone understand what was happening in her life right now?
She’d been vague at dinner when her parents had asked her about her day. She’d told them about the tea and biscuits and about Douglas. She hadn’t said what they’d talked about, or mentioned any of the fantastical things that she was still getting to grips with. She held the necklace Bob had given in her hand and looked at it. It looked like nothing out of the ordinary. The chain looked like any other plain silver chain. The stone was small and pink. It didn’t appear to be cut in any spectacular way. It was mostly transparent, but had a slight cloudiness at the edges. She found it hard to believe that something so small could do such fantastical things.
She thought about Douglas and his lust for adventure. He’d persuaded her so easily that she should go looking for her mother. Did she really want to? She certainly wanted to meet her, but it could wait, couldn’t it? She didn’t need to go off looking for her. But then again, she knew she wouldn’t be satisfied just sitting around waiting for her to appear.
So, it would seem she was set on having an adventure. But where to start? She hoped Bob would be able to give her some clues. He knew her mother better than she did. But he doesn’t actually know where she is for definite. There’d still be a lot of searching involved. And then, how would she recognise her mother? She assumed Bob would have a picture or something, but even that might not be much help.
And then, what would her mother’s reaction be if she found her? Would she be pleased to see her? Or would she cast her off as a burden, like she had done when Sophie was born? Sophie wasn’t sure how she would react to meeting her mother. She wasn’t sure if she should be angry with her for abandoning her.
Sophie’s mind was a little ball of confusion. She jumped off her bed and threw open her wardrobe doors. She rummaged through some loose boxes stacked at the bottom for a few minutes before finally turning up what she had been looking for. She climbed into bed and pulled the duvet up tight around her shoulders. She cuddled tight the little green bear that her father had given her before she could even remember.
More than anything, she wanted everything to go back to normal. She wanted things to be simple again. The morning of her birthday, she’d looked herself in the mirror and told herself that she was a grown-up now and should only give attention to grown-up things. She wanted to deny that now. Being grown-up was definitely too hard for her.
Why couldn’t she be like everyone else? No one else has to deal with this kind of thing. Even other people who find out they’re adopted. They just discover they were the product of drunken slutty teenagers or they were saved from neglectful alcoholics or something. They don’t discover that their parents are magical beings that are older than history. When other people’s parents split up, they usually just live in separate houses, maybe one of them in a different part of the country. James’ dad lives in Wolverhampton! If anyone needs to find someone, they just look them up on the Internet. They don’t have to go chasing ‘round the world after them.
Sophie stared out at the world from under her duvet, clutching her little green bear to her chest. She’d lost the momentum she’d had for the last few days and everything was finally getting to her. She’d let too much stuff just wash over her and now she was drowning. Suddenly, everything that had happened over the last few days was flooding her mind and demanding her attention. Friendly foxes and talking cats were dancing in her imagination, while Bob sat in the background and talked nonsense about other dimensions. An imaginary image of her mother was forming in her mind. It wasn’t clear an, try as she may, Sophie couldn’t bring her into focus. Her mother was calling to her. Sophie could understand her own name, but couldn’t make out what else she was saying.
Sophie’s eyes opened and she was awake. The bedside light was still on and she was still holding the bear tight. She was sweating in the warmth of the June night and the duvet was only adding to her discomfort. She pushed it off herself and sat up. She looked at the clock, it was 1am. She sat the bear on her pillow and rubbed her eyes. This was not healthy. Maybe she’d be able to handle all this stuff if she could get a decent night’s sleep.
She got up and walked to he window, looking out at the dark garden. She half-hoped to see a fox sat on the porch, but it was empty and dark, as it was most nights. The trees were moving slightly, probably due to a light breeze. Sophie thought about going down to the kitchen to garb something to eat, but she decided against it.
She stepped away from the window and went to sit at her dressing table. She looked in the mirror at her reflection. She could see the sleep in her eyes. She stared at her reflecton for a while, thinking about what Bob had said about being able to control her body completely. Her mind began to wander until it hit upon a thought that intrigued her. She concentrated on it and looked hard at the mirror. Nothing happened for a short while, until suddenly, in a barely perceptible way, she saw the sleep patina leaving her eyes. They become fresher and she felt like it wasn’t 1am. It felt more like midday on a weekend and she felt completely rested.
Sophie sat back, astonished at what she’d done. She pulled the necklace out from under her top and looked at it. The cloudiness was no longer confined to the edges, it now appeared to be moving. Ever so slowly, it was swimming across the centre of the crystal.
She looked to the mirror again and concentrated harder. Her hair begin to drip. Splashes of pink dye appeared on the dressing table and drops ran down her top, staining it in a streaky pink pattern. Gradually, flowing from root to tip, her hair turned back to its natural blonde colour. Sophie swore at her reflection in the mirror and mused about how pleased her mother would be.
She tried again, concentrating once more, glaring at her reflection. She watched as the blonde of her hair reddened, turning first to ginger and then moving through to a vibrant red. She stopped for a moment, admiring how she looked with red hair. She filed that image away for later consideration and moved on. She faded the red to pink and then watched it get brighter until she was happy with it.
Anyone looking at her now wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from when she had started, except for the dye-stained top she was wearing. Her hair was the same colour it usually was. Sophie smiled at her reflection and had a small laugh about how she’d never have to bother touching up her roots again and how much money she’d save on dye.
She wondered what else she could do. She thought about Bob and his beard and crazy hair. She thought about how he’d let himself get old. She thought about the possibility of immortality. Did she want that? Did she want to live so long that she left everything else behind? She thought about Douglas. About how Bob had needed a companion. But Douglas wouldn’t be around for ever. He’d live longer than any other normal cat, but it would be a mere blink of an eye compared to Bob’s life. Is that what human life would be like to her? Would James be gone in a blink of an eye, while she stayed young forever? What good was goddamn pink hair if you lost all your friends?
She stood up and pulled the dye-stained top off herself and threw it in the bin. She looked down at her breasts in her padded bra. She thought about what she’d just done to her hair and wondered what else she could do. Could she change her body completely? Did she want to? And then, what would her identity be? She dismissed the thought. She didn’t want to stop being her. Too much had happened in the last few days that was challenging all she thought she’d known about who she was. She wanted to hold on to as much of her identity as she could. Her breasts were small, but they were hers, and she was was keeping them.
Sophie grabbed an old long-sleeved t-shirt from on top of a pile of clean clothes her mum had left in her room. She pulled it on and looked down at the faded design on the front. It was of a giant humanoid robot flying and firing lasers. She’d borrowed it from James months ago and had never managed to give it back. She smiled, remembering how she’d gone round to his house and then discovered, upon setting out to go home, that it was a lot colder than when she’d come over and she didn’t have a jacket. James had pulled out this old t-shirt and she’d pulled it on over what she’d been wearing. It almost reached her knees and the sleeves ended a good couple of inches after her hands did.
She sat down on her bed and grabbed the book that was sat waiting on her bedside table. She hadn’t read any of it since the day when she’d been sat by the church. It all seemed so long ago, back before she knew who Bob was. Back when he just seemed to be some crazy guy stealing her crisps. She opened the book and slid her bookmark out of its place between the pages. She’d finished the book by the time the sun came up.