congelical











I’m not sure where to start. I want to describe her, but I’m stumbling here. Maybe I should start from the bottom and work up? I could describe her feet, but I’ve never been a fan of them (feet in general, that is, not just hers specifically). I think I’ll skip them and move onto her legs. They’re not particularly long as she’s not a tall girl, but they’re definitely shapely. They’re very much the shape you want legs to be, really. Well, that was a failure, wasn’t it? How about I describe her face instead? I mean, her body’s wonderful, but that’s not something that’s going to give you much insight. So, her face. I’m not sure how to describe her face. I’ve never been good with face shapes, really. Any description that comes to mind sounds mildly insulting. So, never mind that, how about her eyes? Her eyes are nice. They’re not piercing or deep or anything cliché like that. They’re just nice eyes. They’re nice to look into and they make you feel good when she smiles. That was another nice part, her smile. I’m failing here, aren’t I? Maybe I shouldn’t describe her. Maybe you should just meet her and describe her yourself.

-Alice



Pretty pink hair that looks so bright. I wonder if it’s real. I wonder if those eyes you look through let you see the world you like. I wonder if your footsteps always make up a dance. If they let you tiptoe softly. I wonder if, I wonder why. I wonder these things so they don’t pass me by. Do you twist and shout? Letting all the words come out? Do you spiral like a leaf on a breeze? Or are you more like a tree? Pushing down roots and growing up all tall. Growing old, seemingly immortal. Always there. Always watching over us. I don’t think you’re that old really. I don’t think you’ve been here that long. Your pink hair would be faded along with your smile. Your eyes wouldn’t smile so brightly. They would be knowing and wise. Your eyes are too new. They haven’t seen enough. They haven’t been there through too many experiences to count. I look at them and they tell me that you’re young. They tell me short little stories and anecdotes. They pull me in and make me want to show you so much. They tell me that you don’t want to see this.

-Alice



{July 16, 2008}   You’ve forced me into her

I took one look at her and I was turned off. Her eyes were sunken and dull. They lacked life and they showed her age. They showed more than her age, actually. You could easily look at those eyes and believe she was years older than she is. Of course, it wasn’t just the eyes that did it. The rest of the face really didn’t help. The eyes sat in it and it just kind of hung around them. It had no real form to it, like it was just a sack her skull had been placed in. In some places it was taut, in others it was flabby and loose. Her nose was lumpen and misshapen. Her mouth seemed alright until she opened it. The teeth she still had were crooked and so yellow, you could find it hard to believe they had ever been anything even near to white. The smile they formed was unsettling. It made you want to back away slowly, holding her stare as you desperately search for a way to escape. Her ears didn’t stick out though. They did, however, look like they had stuck out in the past but had been beaten flat. Her body was to die for though.

-Alice



She was quite crazy, of course. She thought she was a fifties starlet. Of course, she could have been, but the effect was spoilt by her life. It’s hard to be glamorous and stunning when you’re homeless. No matter how meticulous you are with your hair, it’s still unwashed. No matter how well that dress fits and how it flows, it’s still made out of bin bags. Of course, you forgot all that when you looked in her eyes. Her eyes were beautiful. They were green and they quite literally shined. They shined with madness, but also belief. She truly believes in herself and what she thinks she is. Looking into those eyes, you could come to believe it yourself. You could even look at her and come close to falling in love. You could be pulled into her fantasy and allow yourself to be wholly taken in. You could listen to her crazy little spiels and they’ll sound like absolute truth. She’ll sound like her perceptions are as clear as day and you’ll want her so badly. You’ll want to be with her and give her all you can. Then you’ll take her in your arms and pull her towards you. You’ll close your eyes and lean in for the kiss. And then you’ll notice the smell.

-Alice



{May 2, 2008}   Would you like a mint?

I stood there and looked towards the sun. My eyes watered as they burned. I still stared and stared. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t break my gaze. I stood there staring and crying. Crying tiny little tears of bleached salt-water. The distance didn’t seem so far then. I imagined I could walk all the way there before I even got a tan. Before I felt the heat on my forehead, I’d be gone. All my hair would be burned up and I’d be simply walking down the street. How many steps would it take? Maybe I could count them before I died. My eyes are gone now. The tears have long since dried and I can no longer see. I’ll make my journey into the light in the dark. I take one step. I don’t get to take another. I guess that’s what happens when you burn out your retinas and forget you were standing on a cliff.

-Alice



et cetera